I wish I could boil incredibly complex issues down to simplistic and illogical outcomes while drawing absolutely ridiculous conclusions from completely unrelated events.
Because clearly, there’s fame and fortune in it.
And now I have to go to bed. I’m exhausted from performing hours of rhetorical reconstructive surgery.
My friend Bob Stern from the Center for Governmental Studies lays out the case for a California constitutional convention. This definitely has seemed to be in the air everywhere I’ve been in this state the past nine months, and understandably so. Depending upon whom you listen to, California is the world’s 6th or 7th or 8th largest economy. It boasts the richest agricultural sector in the world, is the birthplace of the internet, has the nation’s busiest port, is the entertainment capital of the world, and is home to Silicon Valley. Even with all those resources, our schools are falling apart, our roads and bridges are breaking down, traffic is at a standstill, and it’s been 23 years since the Legislature has submitted an on-time, balanced, budget. That doesn’t sound like a leadership problem; that sounds like systemic dysfunction.
Here’s the trailer for “Colin,” the latest in a slew of zombie movies. What makes this one notable is that it was shot on camcorder, with a budget of all of 45 British pounds (about 70 bucks). And it has a distribution deal. Given the economy and the battering some studios have taken at the box office, we may start to see movies that cost less than the Carl’s Jr. Six Dollar Burger.
By the way, a recent study by two Canadian universities concludes that if zombies actually existed, an attack by them would lead to the collapse of civilization unless dealt with quickly and aggressively. My own conclusion is that Canadian universities have the funding for such important studies because of the savings says they’ve found thanks to their national health-care system.
I guess my refusal to fund the federal Democrats any more until they really do something already has them scrambling in DC. According to the New York Times, Democratic strategists have actually counted the number of Democrats in Congress and have realized that they don’t need any Republicans to pass health care. This is something that those of us with better arithmetic skills figured out months ago.
My “favorite” part of this story (and I use the word “favorite” here with full sarcasm):
[This realization] could alter the dynamic of talks surrounding health care legislation, and even change the substance of a final bill. With no need to negotiate with Republicans, Democrats might be better able to move more quickly, relying on their large majorities in both houses.
Are we paying these guys? Because it beggars the imagination to figure out how they rose to such high stations in life if they couldn’t figure this out until now. If only the Bush/Cheney regime had been so politically clueless.
If I were Barbara Boxer, whom would I hope, wish, and pray to run against in November of next year?
Why, precisely the person who today filed papers to run: Carly Fiorina. Her term as CEO of Hewlett Packard was such a disaster they should’ve renamed the company Hewlett Edsel.
Here’s my favorite line from the story in today’s LA Times:
Fiorina was fired from Hewlett Packard after a rocky tenure marked by lavish compensation, layoffs and a messy merger.
Oh, is that all. Wow. What a great time in the zeitgeist to run with that resume. Perhaps we should add: “And then served as a senior adviser to John McCain’s presidential campaign.” With a resume so untrammeled by success, I’m surprised Fiorina didn’t move over to AIG.
The Boxer campaign will doubtless act down-in-the-mouth about the prospects of squaring off against what they’ll play up as the fearsome and well-financed Fiorina. But secretly they must be licking their lips.
The LA Times reveals the artist behind the Obama Joker image I revile — and he doesn’t like how it’s being used either.
How bad has the credit crunch been? Let’s just note that Steven Spielberg couldn’t get credit.
The other day I got a phone call from a woman soliciting money for Democratic Senate campaigns. Without her knowing it, she had made the mistake of calling me shortly after I had attended that town hall on health care, and after I had read with shame in the L.A. Times just how many thousands of people, many of them middle class, who had shown up for a day of free medical treatment at a special outdoor clinic because they couldn’t afford health care.
Here’s how our conversation went:
Her: I’m calling on behalf of the Democratic Senate Campaign Committee. We’re asking you to please help make health-care reform a reality by making a donation today. You know, we can’t do it without you. Could you pledge $200?
Me: Why not?
Her: Oh, wonderful. Thank you.
Me: No, why not? Why can’t you do health-care reform without me?
Her: Excuse me?
Me: You say you can’t do health-care reform without me. And I want to know why not.
Her: I don’t understand.
Me: It seems to me that Democrats control the presidency, the House, and the Senate, and in the Senate they have a filibuster-proof majority. So what do they need me for? More specifically, what do they need my money for? They should just do it.
Her: Yes, don’t you want us to keep the pressure on them?
Me: Sure. Get off the phone and call them! That’s what I’m doing! I’m emailing them and I’m calling them. I don’t know why they don’t just pass it! They hold all the levers of power in their hands! Why they would need two hundred bucks from me is a mystery. Tell them to pass it!
A friend of mine who has done telemarketing tells me that he’s sure that after that call, the caller went into the call leader’s room and asked for talking points to counter future such responses.
While they’re figuring out their response, here’s mine: No. No more money to federal-government Democrats until they do what they said they were going to do. If Arlen Specter now wants to be a Democrat, he needs to act like one. If Dianne Feinstein wants to retain the D after her name, she needs to vote like one. In the meantime, I’m not sending another nickel to any of them.
As threatened, I did attend Congressman Adam Schiff’s town hall on health care last night in Alhambra. The print media pegged attendance at “hundreds,” but they left early so they could meet their print deadlines, and therefore missed counting all the people who continued to stream to the event. Absolutely there were a thousand people, and perhaps two thousand.
Especially after watching video clips from other town halls, I have to credit whoever organized Schiff’s event, because clearly somebody has been learning from past mistakes. Whereas Arlen Specter and Claire McCaskill’s events look very much like cases of David getting thrown to the lions — one lone senator trying to survive in an arena of bloodlust — the Schiff event was a master class in control. Someone earned his or her pay by designating a moderator — a practicing physician who is also the health correspondent for our local NBC affiliate — and by populating the dais with the proverbial “panel of experts,” including a representative of Kaiser Permanente, a citizens’ watchdog, another actively engaged activist and, sitting off to the side, the Congressman himself, doing his best to defer to others. So while Specter and McCaskill were primary targets, Schiff was shielded by three other people and a semi-celebrity moderator. That’s pretty smart. Somebody owes that moderator in particular a round of drinks, because no matter what he did half the crowd was prepared to boo him.
My reading of the crowd: 60% in favor of health-care reform, even if unsure exactly what shape it should take. Thirty percent opposed to any health-care reform, no matter what shape it would take. And a minimum 20% absolutely bat-shit crazy. (And yes, clearly there’s some overlap in these groups.) One question directed to Schiff: Would he support health-care reform even if his constituents are opposed? To which he replied smartly, “The vast majority of my constituents want it.” Which looked to be true from this crowd, and looks to be true from polling.
There were so many wonderfully enchanting signs and scenes at this event that it’s hard to know where to end. But here are just some of the most colorful images.
The sign on the left wins my personal award for most whack-a-doodle. You’ll note that Obama has been caracturized as The Joker, and then captioned as being part of a “Marxist jihad” and then labeled an “ineligible usurper.” While we’re at it, I suspect he tears the tags off mattresses, spits on sidewalks, and is in a gay marriage with the Tooth Fairy. Where to begin? Although it should go without saying, I can’t help but say it: The Joker is an anarchist opposed to all systems; Marxism is at its heart collectivist; a jihad is a militant religious action; and Obama was duly elected to lead a representative system. So the sign really runs the board of diametrically opposed belief systems and blames him somehow for all of them. And why? Because he wants to expand health care. To me, this seems like hyperbole. But hey, I deal with meaning for a living, so what do I know?
The sign on the right (held by the same man!) actually makes a fair point: that the Constitution does not address health care, and therefore the government has no role to play. This is the strict construction / originalist argument. Some of us would note that the Constitution makes no provision for paving roads, either, and the government seems to be doing that to the objection of no one, but nevertheless there is the glimmer of a true argument to be made here. But I think if you’re carrying the other sign in your left hand, you not only aren’t entitled to make the argument on the other sign, you probably aren’t capable.
The sign in the rear center reads, “No Marxism.” I agree. And I don’t think Karl Marx would have cut a deal with the pharmaceutical companies, which is something Obama has done, so I think we’re safe. Wish granted! By the way, one of the people in the middle distance is an off-duty fireman wearing a fire department t-shirt and a scowl. To almost every comment from everyone on the dais, he yelled out, “It’s socialism!” I couldn’t get to him in the crowd, or I would have asked him what this meant. If he meant that it’s socialism because the government would be paying for the service, I would have asked him how often the fire department sends out bills to individual taxpayers for putting out a fire. Because if they don’t — isn’t that socialism? The same with those pesky police who are always showing up and stopping crime without issuing an invoice. It’s socialism! It’s like we’re all forced to pay for this crime prevention thing!
This woman’s sign was simultaneously educational and completely baffling to me. I had not known that Jefferson, Adams, and Madison were right-wing extremists. But for the sign, nor would I have known that this woman herself was also a right-wing extremist. I applaud her courage for outing herself. It reminds me of how the Manson family entered the courtroom back in their day: with chin held high. But what was her point? This was a town hall on health care. I don’t recall Jefferson, Adams, or Madison ever being concerned with the issue of health care, except when they were desperately hoping that the ailing Caesar Rodney would show up to cast a vote for independence. So I asked her, “What does your sign mean?” She said, “Did you go to school?” I told her that indeed I had gone to school — many of them! — and had come away with multiple degrees. She shook her head and walked off. So the meaning of her sign remains a mystery. Any ideas, anyone? Because I really think she thinks she making some point that, well, she isn’t. Oh, and I also told her I was rather well-versed in the Founding Fathers if she’d like to discuss them, but she really wasn’t interested in that. She just wants to be associated with them, the way many people do with, say, Jesus: without showing any of that Jesus-like wisdom and tolerance.
Finally, we have this. This is the cover to a booklet disseminated at the event by those ardent Democrats, the disciples of Lyndon LaRouche. If you can’t explain how Jefferson, Adams, and Madison were right-wing extremists who are somehow opposed to health care, perhaps you can help me understand two things: 1) how Obama time-traveled back to the 1930’s to cook up evil with Hitler; and 2) precisely how 86-year-old Lyndon Hermyle LaRouche has become an object of worship among a certain segment of deranged 18-to-24-year-old unwashed political cultist. Taking these issues separately, as repulsive as Obama may find this image, I think it would equally dismay Hitler to find himself associating with a man from the future who is the product of race-mingling, someone who so clearly refutes every notion ever held dear by der Fuhrer. All that invading and killing and genocide, all for naught. In fact, I hope that in whatever white-hot corner of Hell Hitler is currently residing, part of his perpetual ordeal is having to stare at precisely this image, replete with fetching young Aryan women openly adoring the half-African man. Man, that is delicious irony. Re my second question — how the cult of LaRouche is able to attract disaffected aimless young people — my best theory is this: I guess the Hare Krishnas need better marketing these days.
There were many more fun and misleading signs and brochures from people trying to disrupt and distract. But there is one that I wish I’d gotten a picture of, and it’s from the opposite point of view. It’s just as simplistic and illogical as the others, but it made me laugh and it didn’t malign a duly elected native-born American leader who is being figuratively tarred and feathered because he wants to help 50 million of his fellow citizens get access to health care before the entire U.S. economy is bankrupted by skyrocketing medical expenses. It was held by a passionate woman in her 30’s, and here’s what it said: “We won. So suck it.” Hey — a sign that speaks for me.