…will surely star Ricky Gervais and Elmo.

“I Hear they Smoke the Barbecue,” from Pere Ubu’s 1991 release “Worlds in Collision.” (And yes, that’s Captain Beefheart’s Magic Band member Eric Drew Feldman on keyboards.) Just like every other Pere Ubu album, “Worlds in Collision” is great, and so is this song. (If you don’t agree, you’ll have to find some other blog. Go on.) This is from their major-label dalliance period, when some producers and labels with connections really thought, like me, that Pere Ubu surely had a hit single in them somewhere. This album got wall-to-wall great reviews, and it might be the album that sold all of 6000 copies (but that might be all of them). As wonderful as they are, these guys couldn’t get arrested if they drove a truck through the police station. But some of us will always be in awe.

For most of us reading this, there’s no war, famine, disease or poverty. Thanks to Louis CK for reminding us about that, and some other things.

Last night’s Sparks show at UCLA Live demonstrated again that new ideas keep you young. The band (or duo:  Ron and Russell Mael) has utterly changed its direction countless times in 22 albums over 39 years, resulting in what I’m starting to think is their best album of all, “Exotic Creatures of the Deep.” How passionate am I about this CD? I’ve mailed five copies to friends.

As with all acolytes to an arcane interest, Sparks fans are in it for keeps. An example:  KCRW’s Michael Silverblatt, had the Maels on his show, Bookworm, last week. Here’s that interview if you’d like to listen to it. You might note that the show is about books, and the Maels don’t write books, but that didn’t stop Silverblatt, who also said that he can overlook many things in people, but if they don’t like Sparks, that’s a deal-breaker.

(And while we’re on the subject, here’s a piece from Friday’s LA Times about the band and its quirky music.)

Until I asked someone last week, I didn’t know who Billy Mays was. Now I do: He’s an infomercial pitchman who has seized a small corner of the zeitgeist. I wouldn’t spend further time thinking about this, but I just Stumbled across something concerning his arch-rival Vince Offer (whom I also had to Google) that makes me laugh.

Offer offers (sorry, couldn’t resist) two products: The Sham-wow (!) and the Slap Chop. In true Ron Popeil fashion, Offer bundles the latter with another product that you get free with your purchase, a mini cheese grater called The Graty. If infomercials weren’t doing so well for Offer, I’d suggest a naming consultancy. Somehow, “Slap Chop” sounds just risque enough for this end of the marketplace.

Here’s part of the spot for the Slap Chop. (And no, you don’t need to watch it all.)

OK, now think briefly about what you just saw, and then go to this page and click on any of the sound files. (All of them are great, but the one above his head is best.) Context is everything.

I’d like to announce the winner of today’s Brian Wilson Award for Most Confused, and it goes to… Joaquin Phoenix.

I’m sure you’ll enjoy this clip as much as I did. Phoenix’s appearance provided David Letterman with probably the best several minutes he’s had in almost 20 years.

This Saturday, I’m seeing the outre band Sparks with two good friends. They’ll be playing the entirety of the “classic” album “Kimono My House” as well as their new release, “Exotic Creatures of the Deep.” (And here’s what my wife thinks of that one.)

This video comes from their last album and tour, and gives you a strong sense of their live show and of the videos that accompany that show.

Thanks to good friend Doug Hackney for making me aware of this.

I’ll tell you what I told Doug:  Superman has saved the world innumerable times. Wonder Woman has sometimes played a role in that. Spider-Man, by contrast, is incapable of paying the rent or keeping track of Aunt May.

No, Virginia, music videos did not die out with the MTV we remember. They just went online. Here’s the one for “Ulysses,” the new single from Franz Ferdinand. The video’s okay — the song is great.