This priceless exchange reprinted with permission from business consultant Alan Weiss’ newsletter. And what does it say about the Wall Street Journal — a BUSINESS publication — that they can’t handle this simple situation? (And, since he didn’t get his Wall Street Journal, I guess Alan didn’t see Mark Chaet inside.)

Me and the Wall Street Journal

Me: Listen, I didn’t get my paper this morning, that’s twice this week, and I’m getting annoyed.
WSJ: I’m terribly sorry. Would you give me the account number on the paper address label?
Me: How can I?! I don’t have the paper!
WSJ: Did you dispose of it?
Me: No, it was never delivered!
WSJ: Have you looked outside?
Me: Yes, that’s how I know it’s not there!
WSJ: Did you notice the color or license plate of the delivery person’s vehicle?
Me: No! They weren’t here! I wasn’t out there early in the morning looking for them!
WSJ: So they may have been there earlier?
Me: How could they?! There is no paper! Would they have come and not left a paper?
WSJ: I don’t understand that question. Of course they’d leave a paper.
Me: Never mind.
WSJ: Would you like a replacement paper?
Me: Yes, please!
WSJ: If you call prior to 9 am we can have one there by 2:30.
Me: But it’s 10:30 now!
WSJ: Then I’m sorry, we cannot replace your paper. You must call before 9.
Me: What time do you open?
WSJ: Nine.
Me: Then how could I call you?!
WSJ: Do you need our number?
Me: NO!! What can you do for me now?!
WSJ: Sir, please don’t shout. We will deliver tomorrow’s paper and give you credit for today’s.
Me: What if tomorrow’s doesn’t come?
WSJ: Then call us back, but to get a replacement copy you must call before 9 am.
Me: What if I tell you now, well before 9 am tomorrow, that I need a replacement paper tomorrow?
WSJ: Is tomorrow’s paper missing?
Me: Forget about it.

copyright 2006 Alan Weiss

Great interview with David Simon, co-creator of The Wire, the best show on television.

“Squadron Supreme” began in 1969 as a thinly veiled crossover of DC heroes into the Marvel Universe so that Roy Thomas could have the Avengers battle the Justice League. Hyperion is a Marvelized Superman, Nighthawk is Batman, the Whizzer (now called Blur) is the Flash, and so forth.

Several years ago, J. Michael Straczynski, creator of Babylon 5 (which I’ve never seen), relaunched the Squadron Supreme into an alternative Marvel timeline, one more immediately relevant, where the government seeks to control these superhumans and use them to their own ends — like having them invade the equivalent of Iraq on our behalf. This sounded like an interesting premise, and so a couple or years ago I picked up the trade paperbacks for half price at the San Diego Comic Con. After getting hooked, and seeing that Marvel was starting the storyline in a new title, I subscribed.

In the most recent issue, #7, a superhuman serial killer (now there’s an idea!) named Redstone has been released by the government because Hyperion and company aren’t listening to them any more, and as we all know, the government is about control. This battle takes on epic proportions. Here you see Redstone frying Hyperion’s eyeballs out. Soon, the blinded Hyperion is accidentally killing civilians that Redstone keeps throwing in his way. Meanwhile, Hyperion’s lover Zarda (the Wonder Woman stand-in) has taken a multi-megaton nuclear warhead into space and has seemingly died in the explosion. Then, in a classic cliffhanger, the Blur and Nighthawk show up vowing to take down Redstone — next issue.

After reading my subscription copy, though, I noticed an odd blue sheet in the polybag. It said (I’m paraphasing), “Attention Squadron Supreme fans, this is the last issue! In exchange for your remaining issues, we’re replacing this title with Moon Knight. If you don’t want that, call us.”

So I called them. It seemed incredible to me that this would be the last issue. When I told Number One Son that apparently this was the last issue, he said, “Damn! This keeps happening to me!” He recounted his past travails with a TV show called “Reunion” that got canceled before the big secret was revealed (he has his own theories about who the murderer was, or something like that) as well as other shows. I couldn’t remember this having ever happened to me with a comic book. They get canceled, yes — but not in the middle of this sort of cliffhanger.

The guys at my favorite comics shop in the world, House of Secrets, don’t think it’s true, no matter what subscription girl at Marvel says. I checked Marvel online and I see a solicitation for #9 (with a cover), but can’t find #8. Hm. And Marvel has already launched a new miniseries in which Hyperion and Nighthawk battle it out over the genocide in Darfur.

So here’s what I’ve decided: I think the remaining five issues will come to be. I think Marvel subscriptions just wasn’t going to offer them (even though saps like me were paid up). Reason? This series is coming to an end, and “Moon Knight” is ongoing — so switch us over and get us hooked.

Well, it’s not going to work. Not with me. I’m not going to read “Moon Knight.”

Although apparently, I will spend 30 minutes reading this issue, 15 minutes on the phone to New York, 10 minutes discussing this in the comics shop, 30 minutes research on the web, 10 minutes making these scans, and 40 minutes formatting and writing this blog entry.

And they say comics are “escapism.”

This is the back cover of this week’s New Yorker — and that’s my friend of 14 years, actor (and now model!) Mark Chaet.

On Friday I was at the car dealership and before getting out of my car looked around to see if there was anything I needed to take in with me: my wallet, my keys, etc. On the passenger seat was the new New Yorker, which had arrived that day, turned face down. Otherwise I probably never would have seen this back cover. I looked over, and here was my reaction: “That looks like Mark Chaet. That is Mark Chaet. No, I’m seeing things. Looks like him, though.” Then I picked it up and held it closer. “That is Mark Chaet! It’s Mark Chaet!” (Around our house, everything “Mark” is either “Mark Chaet” or “Mark Stephenson” because we have two actor friends of long standing named Mark.)

I called him on my cellphone and said, “Mark Chaet, you’re famous! Even moreso! I’m here at the dealership buying a new car and I just saw you on the back of The New Yorker!”

Here’s the kind of guy Mark is. His reply was, “You’re buying a new car? Cool! What kind?”

This ad campaign (including its accompanying television spot) is cleared to run for up to a year in places like The New Yorker, Wall Street Journal, and other major print media, so we’ll be seeing a lot more of Mark. Our family has grown used to seeing Mark Chaet on TV, in movies, on stage, in real life — but I never expected to be holding his picture in my hands while I’m in bed. And now he’s on my blog. Congratulations for him — but if I roll over in the middle of the night and find him next to me I’ll know it’s gone too far.

The Independent also had this story on a Chinese actress who finally got fed up with the casting couch — and what she did about it.

Chinese actress uses Web to expose the ‘rule’ of sex-for-roles
By Clifford Coonan in Beijing

When the aspiring actress Zhang Yu decided she wanted to blow the whistle on some of China’s top TV and film-makers – those who have demanded sex in return for roles in their soap operas and movies – she chose the internet to make her case.

Zhang says she won all her roles through sleeping with the directors, assistant directors or men in charge of casting. She also made films herself – of the casting couch sessions. Then she rocked the film and TV world by releasing 20 graphic sex videos of her and a host of big names.

From London’s Independent. This one gives a truer picture of his enormous influence on the superhero comics of the times — and on Marvel’s fortunes.