Last year, I bought my wife a gift and a card on Valentine’s Day. When I brought them home, she said, “Oh. I thought we weren’t celebrating it.”

I spent days pondering what that meant. Especially since I thought everything was fine.

Today was Valentine’s Day again. As we know, I was busy out of town for four days, then utterly jammed the past two. And I had to pick up not just my son, but also two of his friends after school for a sleepover so their mother could have her first date in three years (on Valentine’s Day, no less). So even though on the way home, I thought about it being Valentine’s Day, if I stopped to get something for my wife, it would be not only last-minute and inconvenient — but also unnecessary, because it seemed to have been established last year that we weren’t celebrating it.  I didn’t know why we weren’t celebrating it, or when we had evidently agreed not to, but somehow, the story went, we had. So I drove home with said kids in tow and ordered a pizza and a salad and that was it.

Then my wife came home with a gift and a card for me. “Happy Valentine’s Day!” she said. Then she grew slightly impatient when I didn’t open either item right away.

So I have several theories about this. (As I told someone today, 35 years of writing plays have left me focused on motivation.)

1. She’s toying with me. Then and now.
2. She isn’t toying with me, and this year she’s in a better mood than last year.
3. Last year, I did agree not to celebrate it but then forgot, and this year I was too preoccupied and used last year as an excuse. (If those things are true, I’m the unwitting villain in this piece.)
4. Neither one of us knows what the fuck we’re doing.

By the way, the year before, we celebrated perhaps the best Valentine’s Day ever for us, with a wonderful time before, during and after a fine meal at a fantastic restaurant with romantic live guitar accompaniment. So one thing you can say for us:  After 28 Valentine’s Days together, we’re still not stuck in a rut.

Last night, Paul McCartney closed the Grammy Awards. (An event that I actually watched part of, for once, because it featured the reunion of “The Beach Boys.” Please note the quotation marks, being of the opinion as I am that The Beach Boys died with Carl Wilson.) During his performance, lots of people jumped on Twitter to ask this question:

“Who is Paul McCartney?”

I want to be charitable and assume that most of the people who asked this are children. I like to think that adults, especially adults with access to Twitter and, therefore, the internet, would jump onto said internet and use either Google or Wikipedia or, well, almost anything, and Look It Up. Whereupon they would learn that Paul McCartney is the most successful songwriter in history and that he was a member of something called The Beatles.

But then I think that even if these are children, wouldn’t even children know that if they are holding a device that connects them to unlimited information — then maybe they could use it properly to gather such information as they’re seeking? And that tweeting out the question “Who TF is Paul McCartney” isn’t as good as, again, Google or Wikipedia or, well, almost anything else.

Some years before the recent relaunch of “Star Trek,” I told my friend Larry, who is this universe’s foremost expert on “Star Trek,” that almost none of my grad students knew who Kirk or Spock were, so I’d stopped using them as an example in my lectures. He couldn’t believe it — and it seemed incredible to me as well, I have to admit — but it was true. I would mention Kirk or Spock and get blank stares in return. Their cultural significance had diminished. Now the person who is probably the foremost popular musician of the past 50 years is going unrecognized.

One bright spot:  Maybe at some point, we’ll all be able to forget “The Macarena.”

So I was in San Diego for four days, staying at a very nice hotel, enjoying cigars in the jacuzzi, dancing in trendy nightclubs with largely unclad women ’til 2 a.m., drinking good drinks and savoring fine meals, and between all that, I had to do delegate-things at the California Democratic state convention. So, yes, while there’s internet access in San Diego, somehow or other I didn’t post for four days. That damn convention just didn’t allow time for it.

I’m a partner in a digital marketing firm, Counterintuity. How did I get into this line of work? People asked me to.

Specifically, starting about 20 years ago, they started asking me if I could bring to bear for their organizations those writing / directing / producing / acting skills learned from all those years in theatre. And the banks and the municipalities and the ad agencies paid a lot better than the theatre. So I started doing that.

As Tom Vander Well’s story shows, it looks like I’m not the only one that’s happened to. And here’s why:  working in the theatre is really really good prep for most things. As my good friend (and fellow theatre-builder) Tom Boyle says, if you’re going to be stranded on a desert island, you want to get stranded with theatre people, because they can build or fix anything, and do it from almost nothing. More than that, we tend to have strong behavioral skills.

One difference between Tom Vander Well and myself:  While he was a theatre major; I wasn’t (all my theatre training was on-the-job; my formal training was in writing and criticism). And so because my major was Literature and Language, I wince when he writes that he was “an alumni” of his school, rather than “an alumnus” — unless he’s more than one person.  Further proof that you always carry your past with you.

I’ve got to admit, I’m a sucker for the Shat, whose one-man show comes to Los Angeles in one mere month. Will the show be tongue-in-cheek? Will it be straight-up? Campy? Vainglorious? Exhilarating and a complete bomb? All of the above and at the same time, of course, just like everything about him. I’m checking out tickets now.

Cartoonist and writer James Sturm on why he’s going to boycott the Avengers movie.

I respect Sturm’s opinion — especially because he’s a lifelong comics fan who also wrote a Fantastic Four miniseries (and a good one!) — but I’m not sure what he’s asking for. I wish he were more specific. If it’s a cash settlement:  Jack Kirby, indisputably the most important creator in the history of Marvel comics, is deceased, meaning that a settlement would benefit his heirs — who, like every one else at Marvel then and now except Kirby and Lee, also didn’t create these characters. (Nevertheless, it would be nice to see the family get some small share of the billions generated from these characters.) If it’s recognition that Sturm is advocating, I believe there’s a title card at the front of most of the Marvel movies that acknowledges Jack Kirby.

I doubt I’ll be boycotting the movie — I saw the other Marvel movies — but I’m interested in other viewpoints.

One of our elected “leaders” thought this piece in the Onion was for real — and posted about it on Facebook, as part of his campaign against Planned Parenthood. He seemed to believe that the agency actually is opening an $8 billion “abortionplex.”

I wonder what this guy is voting on today. (And shudder.)

I’m waiting for the little fat one to scream “Obaammmmaaaaaaaaa!”

I was in Hollywood last night at the Hollywood & Highland complex for the 125th anniversary of Hollywood. (And if you think that’s a lot of ways to say “Hollywood,” well, welcome to Hollywood.) While I was there, I noted yet again the scores of amateur costumed characters pestering tourists to get their picture taken with them — and then insisting on a “tip.” One guy couldn’t even bother with a costume; a semi-fit black guy wearing a black muscle shirt emblazoned with the sobriquet “Mr. Muscles” commandeered a section of sidewalk near the Kodak Theatre and bellowed out “Mr. Muscles! GIT your PICture with MR. MUSCLES!” Nobody seemed eager to do so.

Tonight, once again, and once again in front of the Kodak, a brawl erupted. Someone posing as Jack Sparrow got into it with Catwoman (my money’s on her) and an alien and another pirate. Here’s the story in the LA Times. (If this other pirate is the one I’m thinking I’ve seen there, I’m not surprised he was involved.) Spider-Man was led away in handcuffs, and SpongeBob was detained. You can’t make this up.

Here’s a prediction:  The police and the city and the local merchants are going to get more involved in this. Exercising your free rights to parade around in a costume is one thing; presenting a public nuisance and menacing passersby is another. And my experience every place I’ve been, inside the U.S. and out, is this:  Whenever it threatens the tourist trade, the local authorities swing into action.