Because the gays are getting married.

Which will not be news to the pastor in Ohio.

Elliot S! Maggin, principal writer of Superman comics from 1971 to 1986, is running for Congress in California and I’m supporting him.

Mr. Maggin is running to dethrone Elton Gallegly, a proponent of much that I’m against, and opponent of much that I’m for.

I actually spoke with Mr. Maggin today when I called to invite him to be a featured speaker at this event that I’m emceeing on October 13th, which honors political comedienne and syndicated radio host Stephanie Miller. I told him that I live for the campaign that features the writer of “Superman” saying that the seeming-conservative is undermining “truth, justice, and the American way.” He is going to join us to do that, so mark your calendar.

In the meantime, here’s his campaign announcement. Please click and donate. We need more comic-book writers in Congress and fewer looney tunes.

Over on Mark Chaet’s blog, in his inimitably cranky style he takes on drivers who misuse the curb lane on Sunset. Which is pretty much what happened yesterday when I was a pedestrian in front of the Cinerama Dome and witness to an accident in the curb lane on Sunset — about four feet from me.

A few minutes ago I made a mistake typing in a URL, and so, instead of MSNBC.com, I wound up on msbc.com, the website of Morningstar Baptist Church. Here’s what I learned both from the home page and this podcast:

1. If Hillary Clinton becomes president, we’re going to Hell. (This seems to be meant literally.)
2. Hillary is “a jezebel.” (Although it isn’t made clear why.)
3. Obama is indeed kin to Osama in some way.
4. Giuliani is no better because he’s pro-homosexual.
5. Martin Luther King Jr. was “a nut. Check the FBI files.”
6. That it used to be a law, an actual law, that you had to bear arms and that maintain your arms in good working order. Evidently, this was a law in the 17th Century.  And for proof, we should read the book of Romans. (Which, if I recall, predates firearms.)
7. If Hillary gets in, “be prepared to die.”

This educational message brought to you at no charge.

My friend, writer Christopher Meeks, passes along this story about how a play of his has most definitely changed someone’s life (in this case, that of actor Stephen Furst). (And, to answer Chris’s question, no it isn’t coincidence, and yes, it is something else: cause and effect.)

Coincidence—or Something Else?

While casting “Who Lives?”, actor and director Stephen Furst offered donated kidney

When I told my friend and fellow author, David Scott Milton, the following story, he said that writers have an amazing connection to metaphysics. I’ll let you figure out what the following is—coincidence, metaphysics, or something else. This week marks the 10th anniversary of the first production of my play, Who Lives? It also marks the 30th anniversary of the film Animal House. You’d think there’d be no relation, but there is.

In February, I spoke on a radio show called “Kidney Talk” about the publication of Who Lives?, interviewed by two interesting and funny hosts, Lori Hartwell and Stephen Furst. The interview was more like a morning drive-time show, with much energy, questions, and humor. I hadn’t expected humor. Furst, however, had played Flounder in “Animal House” as well as Dr. Alexrod in “St. Elsewhere.” He also had a major role in “Babylon 5” and had become a film director and producer. His own kidneys had gone out due to diabetes complications, and he was now on dialysis himself, volunteering on this radio show.

Furst was so taken with the play, he mentioned to a group of doctors in San Francisco that he’d like to direct it. That mention led to his receiving a call from a large theatre in Cincinatti, the Aronoff Center for the Arts, which was interested in producing the play with him directing for a September production, using a name actor such as John Lithgow. Of course I was elated. Furst flew to Cincinatti in June to do some initial casting. While there, he mentioned to someone that he’d been on dialysis two years already. The person want to know more. Furst explained dialysis made life complex, and he really needed a kidney transplant.

A few days after this offhand mention, Furst received a call. An anonymous donor heard about his plight and wanted to donate a kidney to him if they matched immunilogically. Now Furst was beyond elation. Tests were done. They matched. In fact, Furst should be receiving the kidney as I type this.

In short, because I wrote a play, someone’s life was changed. Of course, we writers hope that we can change lives emotionally, but here’s a case of a physical change. What do we call this? Luck?

Because Furst needs time to recover, the play’s production has now been pushed back. The play will open at the Aronoff Center for the Arts in Cincinatti in January. Those of you in the area, please come. If you want a good read, the book is available at Amazon.com, BN.com, and on the shelf at Vroman’s Bookstore in Pasadena (626-449-5320), among other places.

Certainly, some exist. I haven’t seen too many characters in wheelchairs on stage, at least not a proportion equal to that in what I see in the wider world. Same with blind people.

But I have to disagree with the people who posted this listing seeking play submissions:

Submission Guidelines

* Only unproduced works will be accepted.
* Plays must have a female or other underrepresented minority as the
protagonist
* Plays that have had staged readings are eligible.
* No adaptations, musicals, or children’s plays.
* Cast size maximum: 5.
* Length: 25 minutes maximum, no minimum.
* Settings should be simple or suggested.
* Playwrights may make multiple submissions.
* Please do not submit works that have been previously submitted.
* Scripts must be postmarked by August 24, 2007.

By “minority,” are they referring to about 52% of the population (i.e., females)?

By “underrepresented,” do they mean people choosing plays, reading plays, writing plays, acting in plays, producing plays, attending plays, etc? Because the majority of them also seem to be female.

As this analysis of classic “Star Trek” proves, if you’re part of the engineering crew, you very much want Kirk to hook up with alien women. Your survival may be at stake.

Renegotiate.

In this case, I just got off the phone with Pitney Blowes, whose monthly fee to me for my postal meter had crept upward from someplace in the twenties to $32.46, and who now sent me a polite letter informing me that they were automatically signing me up for a $15.99 annual fee for the Postal Education Program.

The latter was the final straw. Automatically enrolling customers in programs they don’t ask for (let alone don’t need) is insulting. So, filled with brio and outrage, I called to cancel the entire program, knowing full well what they would do: seek to keep me by renegotiating.

So here was their offer:

1. They would cancel the offending program and remove the charge.
2. They would lower my monthly bill to $19.99.
3. They would waive the last month’s bill.

Tally the results for one year and you’ve got $198 plus change. For a 19 minute call.

Lessons in this:

1. Seemingly little charges and incremental increases add up.
2. Yes, it’s worth the phone call to protest.

Fishin’ for old comics, that is, as my comrades and I troop down to the San Diego Comic Con for five (!) glorious days. For the first time in, probably, 10 years, I’m not taking a laptop and not checking email, so what happens at Comic Con truly stays at Comic Con.

In the meantime, here’s a heads-up: For the first time in its history, Comic Con is sold out. (For Saturday, at least.) No four-day passes, no on-site registration. If you’re not preregistered, you can probably drop in on Thursday (if you don’t mind braving the line), and maybe Friday (we’ll see). Sunday? Probably not so much. And again, in the infamous words of my son, “You mean there are going to be more people there this year?” Yep — 150,000 or so.

If you can’t make it to Comic Con, then may I heartily recommend this show? I’ve seen 5 or 6 installments now and it is a hoot and a holler. Seriously, I’m trying to remember the last time I saw a live show this bulletproof — it is consistently entertaining. The guests change every week, and lately there have been rotating hostesses. But the show is always a bucket full of fun (and my guests have agreed). These guys have a lot of talent and, I guess, good karma. (And I got to meet Peter Falk, however fleetingly.)

I’ll check back in here next Monday.

Recently I saw a couple of plays that returned me to this train of thought:

While there may never be a definitive answer why bad things happen to good people, I believe there’s a good theory why bad plays are written by good people: They want people to get along in life. And unfortunately, that’s what they have happen in their plays, too.

Think back to the last play you saw written by someone thoroughly nice. Chances are, it was well-meaning and dull. If you’re going to be nice, I’m all for it — just don’t do it in your play. I’d rather see the latest play by an utter bastard, or at least someone who can summon that up. Like Neil LaBute.

That doesn’t mean that the collected poems of Donald Rumsfeld should win the Nobel. Odiousness is allowed, but talent is essential.