The new official Comic-Con iPhone App is out. Here’s the link.

Also, you may have heard that there’s a pernicious campaign to move Comic-Con out of San Diego; suitors include Anaheim and Los Angeles. I’ve been to Anaheim more times than you can imagine lately, and can attest that it completely lacks the scenic charm of  San Diego. San Diego features the Gaslamp Quarter, walking access to the bay for strolling and dining, and a clean, warm, sunny atmosphere for the Con. By contrast, Anaheim is an endless parking lot for Disneyland. There are more hotel rooms, yes, but that’s about it. As for Los Angeles, I’ve become a huge fan of the new LA Live center downtown, with many attractions and restaurants in a central walking location. But I don’t think the Con should — or will — move to a city teetering on the edge of bankruptcy. And speaking just for myself, I’d rather go away — to San Diego! — than commute to the Con. If you agree, you might want to join the Facebook group “Keep Comic Con in San Diego.” There’s also a website.

Finally, longtime readers of this site will recall the frenzy every year as we approach the date and time when group hotel reservations go on sale for the Con. It’s a frenzy because 126,000 people attend the Con — and only 7,000 rooms are made available at the Con rate. That’s enough rooms for only 5% of attendees, meaning you have about the same chance of getting a room as  Ron Paul has of becoming president. (Well, getting the room is probably fifty times as likely. But still.) Finally, someone has set up a scam. Here’s a recent notice posted on the Comic-Con website:

BEWARE!

It has come to our attention that a company identifying itself as Elite Locations is advertising that it can book local hotel rooms during Comic-Con.

First and foremost, San Diego Comic-Con is not affiliated with Elite Locations in any manner.

ALL of the hotels listed in their advertisement have indicated that Elite Locations does not have the right to book rooms on their behalf!

We also checked with the Las Vegas Better Business Bureau. The BBB rating given to Elite Locations (based on the BBB A-F scale) was an F — the lowest possible rating.

While we have had our own issues with hotel bookings, the best way to secure a hotel during Comic-Con is to:
1. Contact Travel Planners,
2. Contact the hotels directly, or
3. Book through a reputable, known travel agency or website.

This doesn’t surprise me. I only wonder why it has taken this long, in an age where the “$30” concert ticket costs $100 or more through  ticket brokers who buy up all the tickets. It does dismay me for one reason though:  This year my group and I were able to get two suites reserved — and before I could convince my friend to hold onto that second res and list it at ticket-broker rates, he released it. The markup on that suite could’ve paid for the whole trip.

When television and rock ‘n’ roll and the legal system were invented, did anyone foresee that one day the lead singer of the Sex Pistols would appear on “Judge Judy” to defend himself from charges made by his tour drummer? Surely, this must rank with the meeting between Nixon and Elvis.

The choicest moment for me: When Judge Judy, philosophizing about the relative merits of artistic works and therefore stretching back to theories originating with Aristotle, notes to the once and former Johnny Rotten “Jimmy Dorsey, Tommy Dorsey — now that was music!” A close second: when she scolds the unhappy that clearly he is in the wrong line of work. (Most of us would know what we’re getting into when we go to work for someone with the last name of “Rotten.”)

Last night I went with three other playwrights to see what I thought was a pretty dull play, David Hare’s “The Blue Room.” Whenever you find that you’re more involved with the lights and the sound and the music and watching the set changes (all of them admittedly pretty interesting in this production), then you know that the play isn’t working. I kept debating whether it was the script, the actors, or the direction, and landed finally on the script. Sex has never been so uninteresting, and every line sounded written, not spoken.

Afterward, the  four of us went out for a drink. I sat there, determined not to be the first to dig into the play. Maybe because I was so drained by seeing it. The experience was so enervating it had me wondering again whether the balance in quality between theatre and television had permanently shifted. When television is producing shows like “Breaking Bad” and “The Wire,” and you can carefully select what you want to see and when you want to see it with your DVR, and nine out of ten plays are a disappointment and every experience is a crapshoot and it all costs more, the argument for getting off your couch becomes harder. And no, you cannot imagine what it feels like to say this here.

One thing the theatre will always have over television is this:  drinks afterward. We had some fun at the expense of the show — I offered my usual analysis of why a play in question was 90 minutes with no intermission:  “So no one can leave early” — and somehow we got on the subject of drink and drugs. And then we got the quote of the night, something far better than anything in the play, something that I’ll be putting in a play of mine unless the playwright who said it beats me to it:

“I smoked weed. I didn’t like it. It made me feel like part of the wallpaper. Drinking is better. Alcohol is like me, plus.”

It’s so perfect a bit of dialogue that it sounds written. If only anything approaching that level had been in the actual play that night.

Imagine if the Tea Party was made up of black people.

The coverage of armed people showing up near the capitol threatening the president would be a little different, wouldn’t it?

Here’s how it might go.

Here it is. Let the battle begin!

This is deliciously bad. As such, this scene from some long-lost movie may provide the finest entertainment of your day. I know it amused and entertained me.

By the way, despite claims to the contrary, this does not represent the worst acting ever. That distinction belongs to some odd-looking and unremarked character actor who auditioned for me 15 years ago and who at the end of his audition proudly punctuated the end of his standing monologue by planting one foot atop the seat of a nearby chair much in the way of an imagined Admiral Wellington or Napoleon Bonaparte. After he left, my producing partner said she didn’t believe any part of this man’s monologue. I replied, “I didn’t even believe the way he put his foot on the chair.”

This video therefore represents the second-worst acting ever. Although I’m open to other nominees, if you’d care to comment. And I suppose I’d nominate a third-worst: Nicolas Cage’s performance, such as it was, in last year’s “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call: New Orleans,” in which Cage’s lieutenant is best described as a cackling hunchback. Now that was pure enjoyment!

Better than Batman vs. The Hulk (but not as good as Superman vs. Muhammad Ali), we bring you “SuperFriends.”

One of these shows I’ve never seen, and I’ll bet you can guess which one. (Yes, it’s the one without the capes.)

Living inside my house we have four people (and a fifth who still lives here occasionally), a dog, and assorted spiders that my daughter is always aghast to find lurking unexpectedly in some corner.

Outside in addition to the expected flying and crawling insects, and worms, we have a squirrel who proudly serves as our dog’s arch-nemesis, baiting her and chittering at her whenever given the opportunity, at least one patchy brown opossum who plays dead quite convincingly, tree rats in the palm trees towering nearby, hummingbirds — and a nest of mourning doves that lives in our cactus. That’s right, in our cactus.

That’s them right in the center. There are two parents and two recently hatched chicks in the nest. Just two weeks later, the chicks are almost as large as the parents. This nest is eye-level with me, which might beg the question, what bird would build a nest here? Isn’t it easy prey for predators — like raccoons, which we also might have, or neighborhood cats? But note two things:  Look how well the birds and their nest blend in with the bark of the cactus; color-blind animals will have a challenge seeing them there. (So did I, at first.) Note also the severe challenge to entry:  Yes, there’s a wall behind the tree, but the entire nest is surrounded by a thicket of cactus needles no animal wants to brave.

Here’s another shot, below. From this angle, you can see how the birds get in:  There’s one clear angle of approach for flying in. But in the photo above you can see that any other way in is fraught with danger for would-be marauders.

It’s absolutely ingenious.

Man vs. Octopus!

I have several friends waiting for the next generation of the iPhone. They’re waiting/hoping for a front-facing camera, longer battery life, 4G, and availability to Verizon as a carrier.

Now it looks like they’re going to get at least those first three wishes granted soon. (And a lot more, like a flash feature for the camera.) Someone “left” a prototype iPhone 4G in a bar in Redwood City, California — where it was discovered, disassembled, and analyzed by Gizmodo. Here’s that story, along with videos showing off the new features.

(Direct message to various Comic-Con friends: This should answer your question of “When should I buy an iPhone?” Answer: When this comes out.)

By the way:  The story of the prototype phone having gotten “accidentally” left behind sure sounds like a prototype of its own — for a marketing campaign. Note that Gizmodo, above,