I read yesterday’s LA Times summer movie sneaks section — but saw nothing about this.

A man is suing BMW because he says riding their motorcycle gave him an erection that’s lasted for 20 months. I think once this story gets out, it’ll be hard to get a BMW motorcycle. How hard? Very hard.

My curiosity demanded that I dig deeper. Here’s what I’ve learned.

In the case of the first “used” broiler pan being offered, it’s described this way:  “Packaging may have minor damage. Item is in excellent condition.” So it isn’t used, but it may have “minor” damage — while simultaneously being in “excellent condition.” Which is like being a horse and a fish at the same time. Also, its actual price is $18.56, or only 98 cents less than the actually new broiler pan without minor damage that is definitively in excellent condition. Given these circumstances, I think even Scrooge McDuck would splurge on the extra 98 cents and buy the certifiably new one.

In the case of the second “used” broiler pan, we learn this:  “Came with range, possibly never used.” This made me reflect that Jessica Alba, to name just one person, came without range and has remained that way. But in the case of this broiler pan, it’s the word “possibly” that makes it a dead deal. Either it’s used, or it isn’t; buying anything shouldn’t be a guessing game, especially used cookware.

I need a new broiler pan. Why? Because the old one is so burnt after years of use that my kids and I can’t get it clean any more. I have a little list of things I’m getting ready to order from Amazon, so I figured I’d see how much a broiler pan would be (as opposed to picking one up at, say, Target). And I came across the listing above.

The porcelain option at the top doesn’t seem like a bad deal — about twenty bucks for a pan that will last me years and years. It’s the offering below that leaves me a little skeptical: the two used ones available “from” $14.99. Questions:

1. Who would buy a used broiler pan?

2. Who would buy a used broiler pan online?

3. Who would sell a used broiler pan?

4. And how are there two people who would sell a used broiler pan?

I’m tempted to order one just to see what I’d get.

Yes, I am flying to Dallas tomorrow expressly to see The Beach Boys on their 50th anniversary tour. More about this some point after I land.

In which Philip Glass writes music for… “Sesame Street.”

For years, I’ve said that “Sesame Street” teaches kids one thing — to watch TV. So while I’m not sure it’s filling an educational need, I am sure that it has a 43-year history of getting very cool creative people involved, from Jim Henson to Bill Irwin to Eric Idle to Cab Calloway to Jughead Jones (?). Maybe it’s not an educational program that we’re all funding. Maybe it’s an arts program.

In this video, you can watch the daughter of a Dutch filmmaker age 12 years in 3 minutes. It’s fascinating to watch because it shows just how quickly our lives pass. Just yesterday, I emailed a photo of my wife and me with our first-born when he wasn’t yet one year old. My caption: “Look how young we were before these rotten kids aged us 20 years.”

This video also holds relevance for me because I have a daughter who is now 13 (and will soon be 14). Note in the video how, from age 10 on, the girl is gabbing incessantly in every frame. We’ve had a similar experience at our house. As for the aging aspect, I aged 12 years in 3 minutes just last night when she recounted something she’d watched on Netflix streaming with her friend. For just a moment, I considered blocking the service — then remembered watching secretly “Satyricon” late at night on an early pay service at my brother’s apartment at age 11. At least she told me. I told no one — until now.

Prediction: This year, Dick Clark will do an even worse job with that countdown.

The underused Maytag Repairman of yore has nothing on the nation’s loneliest salesman — the guy trying to do sales at the world’s only Blackberry store. It’s no threat whatsoever to the Windows Store, let alone the Apple Store.