Just so you know, if you put anything anywhere on the web, I now own it. (And if I use your stuff and it’s crummy, I’m billing you.) Because hey, that’s how it works.

Here’s where to find  your fucking polling place.

Please remember to vote tomorrow in this other, crucial, election!

It’s not a pretty picture.

Here’s the list — and yes, I have flown most of these in the past year. The list isn’t long enough, and the sniping isn’t nearly enough vicious.

IFC is running “Trail of the Screaming Forehead,” a camp spoof of 1950’s low-budget horror films that  (my honorary Uncle) Rich Roesberg swears is deserving of your time, and of a plug on this blog. It’s on this Friday, so you and I can be the judge of that.

Whatever you think of President Obama’s policies, there’s no arguing the degree of technological change he and his administration have embraced. His campaign was the first to embrace social media on a large scale and win with it. Howard Dean’s campaign was first to do Meet-Ups and micro-donation campaigns. Building upon that, Obama’s campaign added Twitter, Facebook, text messaging and more. Given that increasingly this is how people communicate, I’m glad that the person at the top recognizes it. (And I remember Bush the First’s stunned appreciation of a supermarket scanner that seemed to magically code in his prices! That faux pas showed how out of touch he was.)

I just finished reading a New York Times magazine profile of Obama that began with his signing a piece of legislation with eight different pens, so that there were as many as possible to distribute to supporters. The photo above, from Tech Crunch, shows a man named Sylvester Cann IV asking the president to sign his iPad at a campaign event for Washington Senator Patty Murray. Which he did. Which makes me wonder what gifts future supporters will get, because the pen is going the way of the buggy whip. Two weeks ago on “Fringe,” part of the plot line was the obsolescence in the show’s alternate universe of pens. How did the agents know they’d found the right place to find the culprit? They discovered people using pens. As we do with LPs, some day we will be explaining to young people just what a pen was, and how it was used.

It’s bad enough when public officials misappropriate funds. (“Misappropriate” being jargon for “misdirect” — or “steal.”)

But when the money you’re “misappropriating” is from low-income people, and is intended to assist them with housing, when, in other words, the intention of the money is to help keep families off the street, and so therefore your ill-gotten goods may be shoving people out into a life of homelessness — then you’re loathsome. I’ve seen what despicable is, and it is you.

Here’s what it looks like.

In which a certified trainer takes down Jillian Michaels as “not actually a real fitness trainer — she’s an actress playing the role of fitness trainer on TV and in a line of popular DVDs.”

Choice excerpts:

• “Typical viewers think she’s great, yet the collective jaws of professional trainers hit the floor after witnessing her regular displays of poor technique and unsafe training practices.”
• “The biography on her website goes on and on about her multimedia endeavors, but there is not a single mention of any health-and-fitness education or credentials.”
• “…a bubble on the cover exclaims, ‘Lose up to 5 pounds a week!’ … Sure, if you start off weighing more than a Smart Car.”

I’m forwarding this to my son the weight trainer, and my friend writing the play about the unhappy housewife trying to get fit. I think both of them will love this.

It’s not just hot, it’s sharp! And it’s only a hundred bucks! Get on this, friends. (But be careful when you do.)