There are eight million stories of trying to deal with the City of Los Angeles. This, from my friend Tom, is one of them:

Because we own a duplex the City of Los Angeles has it listed as a rental property.  Every year we receive a bill from the city to register the property and every year we file for an exemption for “owner occupied” so we don’t have to pay.  This year when the bill arrived it had two addresses listed, ours and some number between ours and the building next door.

I called the Los Angeles Housing Department (LAHD) and had the following conversation . . .

Me       – Hi, I wanted ask about my bill.

LAHD – You want to ask about your bill?

Me       – Yes.

LAHD – OK, how may I help you?

Me       – The bill shows that I filed for an exemption last year.

LAHD – Yes, you filed for an exemption last year.

Me       – But last year you said I couldn’t have an exemption and you made me pay the bill.

LAHD – Yes, you paid last year.  Are you filing for another exemption this year?

Me       – Yes, but you have two addresses listed on the bill

LAHD – Yes, two addresses are listed on your bill

Me       – But we only own the one property

LAHD – But you have two addresses listed on your bill

Me       – I know, but we only own the one property

LAHD – Then you put the address wrong last year

Me       – No, I just sent in the form you sent me

LAHD – With the wrong address

Me       – No, last year it had the right address.  I just requested an exemption.

LAHD – So, this year you can fix the address.  Just change it on the form and send it in.

Me       – I wanted to use your website.

LAHD – OK, you can use the website.

Me       – But when I went on the website it says it’s down.

LAHD – Yes, the website is down.

Me       – Do you know when it will be back up?

LAHD – No, the website is down.  It’s broken, that’s why it’s down.

Me       – So what if I try it tomorrow?  Will it be up then?

LAHD – Yes, you could try it again tomorrow if you like.

Me       – Thank you.

LAHD – OK, good bye.

Girls, are you alone? Do find yourself in strange circumstances all by yourself — outside in your pajamas, in a marsh with kitchenware, or trapped in limbo? Clearly, what you need is:  a salad.

How did several of the new “anti-establishment” Tea Party-supported Congressmen start their new positions this week? By hiring lobbyists and taking succor from corporate fundraisers.

Even with this latest disaster, I’m rooting for that Spider-Man musical.

Along the lines of my previous post:

“Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions.  Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.”  ~Mark Twain

“And to you. We sure need a good one.”

That’s what a friend just texted me when I texted him to say “Happy New Year.” I’m surprised and not surprised by how many of my friends feel the same way (the sentiment seems to be the status du jour on Facebook).

I haven’t written about it here until now, but on October 20th I was in a pretty big car accident. I don’t want to go into it now, but let’s just say that I was forced to participate in someone else’s accident as he plowed into me at what was probably more than 80 miles per hour as he was desperately trying to get somewhere else far too quickly. I’ve been dealing with that in the nine weeks since, and I’m almost ready to write some more about it here — maybe — but here’s the big takeaway:

I’m glad to be here. Really.

And while I know there’s a lot of struggle going on out there, around the country and certainly around the world, most of us have it better than we know.

From the perspective of someone who gets as many meals a day as he likes, who has a place to live and a life to share with family and friends, who has the pleasure of books and music and the arts, who is engaged in his community and who has, for the most part, his health, 2010 was a pretty good year. Will 2011 be better for many of us? I think so. Will it be worse for others? Absolutely. But whatever the future, that artificially carved into 12 months future, holds for us, we should make the most of it and most of us should recognize our general good fortune.

That Rolling Rock retains the tagline “Same As It Ever Was” even though they changed the formula. It’s four years later and I’m still outraged. The people behind Rolling Rock are frauds and mountebanks and they brew a crummy beer. I contemn them with all my vigor.

(And yes, it’s 8 p.m. and I’m still at my office writing and I’m wishing I had a real Rolling Rock.)

Stan Lee turned 88 yesterday and he’s still going strong. Further proof:  Earlier this month, the Los Angeles Business Journal recognized him as one of their “Eight Over 80”:  business people in Los Angeles in their 80’s still leading professional lives. Here’s the piece.

Courtesy of the Huffington Post, herewith a Venn diagram for the three people who get paid to touch your junk.