Thought for the day (on Britannia circa 2007)
The other day on my return flight I caught myself looking at my watch and thinking for a moment about the British Empire. (Actually, that was my second thought. My first thought was a variation on “Are we there yet?”)
What got me thinking was how freakin’ huge this watch is. As one online listing says, this “stunning, high quality men’s Fishbone watch is SERIOUSLY CHUNKY!” and has “a mega large round dial (case diamter approx 42mm wide / 12mm thick).”
Given that this is a men’s fashion item and that its width and thickness are main sales features, the subtext becomes clear. (And hey — I bought one.)
The next stop on my train of thought was the raging popularity of Doc Martens in England (and then here), as well as David Bowie’s statement three years ago in Esquire that with a suit, one should “always wear big British shoes, the ones with large welts. There’s nothing worse than dainty little Italian jobs at the end of the leg line.” I put great stock in Mr. Bowie’s statements; he must know something, because I can’t offhand think of anyone with a better life: Revered artist (musician and actor), innovator, enormously wealthy businessman, trendsetter, and husband to a supermodel, he’s still turning out fantastic music and is also capable of laughing at himself. And why not? As he sings in one recent song, “I’m goddamn rich.” And during his last tour he blithely introduced said recent recordings as being from albums “nobody bought.” How’s that for being self-assured?
So if David Bowie thinks Big British Shoes are the thing, we should agree.
Here’s what I’m wondering: Between the enormous watches and the Frankenstein shoes (both of which I admire) and Lord knows what other blunderbuss fashion statements, are the British subconsciously compensating for their shrunken kingdom? I ask this as someone generally enamored of British culture, which also gave us Roxy Music, Harold Pinter, and Doctor Who. (And which, in the person of Winston Churchill, saved us from Hitler. Thank you again, Mr. Churchill.)
And if that’s the case, what is being said by the Italian male’s pointy little business slippers and dainty wristwatches? Do they show confidence, or cluelessness?