The work o’ the German
If you ever see me wearing green on St. Patrick’s Day, I assure you it’s accidental. That’s because, like 98% of the rest of us, I’m not Irish — but unlike the other 98%, I refuse to go along. I don’t have anything against the Irish — or any people as a group, except dangerous extremists — but I’m not Irish so I’m not wearing green for the occasion.
Last night when my wife was reminding our children what clothes they could wear today, I shared yet again my antipathy toward St. Patrick’s Day, one of those festive occasions that revolve around driving to a bar and getting hammered. She had a good response: “At this point, it’s a Hallmark holiday.” I can see where that would work for most. But given that I was never suckered by the cards-n’-kitsch company into, say, Grandparent’s Day, that just hardened my resolve.
This morning my little boy, aged five, put on a green shirt and green camouflage pants; I had a frisson of delight at the mismatch of that. My 16-year-old wore a green DTASC shirt; since “DTASC” stands for “Drama Teachers Association of Southern California” I could live with that. But then I saw my daughter in a green shirt with a large glowing shamrock on the front and my wheels started to turn.
“When’s Martin Luther Day?” I asked.
“That’s in January,” my wife said. Then she realized I didn’t mean the slain civil rights leader.
“Where do I get a shirt that says, ‘Respect me, I’m German’?”
Now I was on a tear.
The idea of “the luck of the Irish” really appalls me — if I believed in luck, I would point out that historically these are highly unlucky people. “How about a shirt that says ‘The Work of the German’?” At least work, unlike luck, can be readily identified.
And yes, given the history of the 20th century, I realize there is little sympathy for my point of view on this. But as I dropped Emma off at her school I couldn’t help calling after her as she headed inside aswim in a sea of green-kitted kids, “Remember! You’re not Irish and you’re not Catholic!”
March 17th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I am half Irish and half German, how this combination came about I’m not sure. The family name in Ireland is Condon.
Anyway, I have not bought into the St. Patrick’s Day drink till you fall over festivities. It just continues the stereotype that all Irish are drunks.
When I was getting my bachelors degree I took and advanced writing course and as an assignment we had to write an essay on holidays. The assignment was done near St. Patrick’s day and I took the opportunity to tee off on those who equaled being drunk with being Irish. The absurd thought that everyone is Irish just because they drink in excess on one day of the year is just that, absurd.
In protest I did not wear anything green colored today. Why should I? I’m half Irish all the time and I don’t mean half drunk.
Paul
March 17th, 2008 at 6:50 pm
Yet, “whiskey” is Gaelic for “water of life” hmmmmm….
March 18th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Well, I had on my green undershorts. But they were white when I put them on last month.
I’m French, English, Scottish, German, Swedish and German (again), with a touch of Cherokee and just a hint of Irish. Our kids are even more mixed than that (wife Ruth is half Norwegian). When is Mongrel Day???