The Tiger Woods decision tree
On Friday, I saw Tiger Woods’ apology-of-sorts on a screen at a bar in Ft. Lauderdale. He pleaded for people to leave his family alone. Immediately afterward, his plea was analyzed by four experts trying to get at the root meaning of what he’d been saying. After that, more people analyzed it for our benefit.
I didn’t feel that I needed the apology, such as it was, anyway. What had he done to me? Nothing. Same as he had ever done.
But what if, unlike me, you’ve actually had close personal contact with Tiger Woods. Perhaps you think you’re owed an apology, but you’re not sure. For you, there’s this helpful chart, courtesy of Brokey McPoverty:
February 22nd, 2010 at 5:23 pm
I watched the “apology” in a little bitty waiting room for surgery patients before we were taken to pre-op; it was all kinda surreal—like a pajama party with 6 or 7 people I’d never met before…
What stuck out to me most was his admission that he’s a Buddhist. As little as most Americans know about world religions, that would seem to be more damaging to his lucrative endorsement career than the fact that he can’t keep it zipped (or hasn’t been able to do so up to this point). But perhaps we’ll now see a wave of young golfers converting to Buddhism… perhaps he could even become a spokesman for Buddhist recruitment: “Tiger’s Got the Zen—Why Don’t You?”
Thanks for the chart: I already knew Tiger didn’t owe me shit but it’s nice to have it confirmed publicly.
February 23rd, 2010 at 4:22 am
I’d say the folks who think Woods owes them an apology are the same ones who think gay couples threaten the Sacred Institution of Marriage.
February 28th, 2010 at 11:11 am
Funniest line from SNL last night. Tiger Woods has been dropped as a spokesperson for Gatorade because they decided his thirst cannot be quenched.
July 4th, 2010 at 8:57 am
Tiger Woods is a very good golfer but his reputation as a cheating husband made him a bad character.`:*