My neighbor’s dog in the news
Well… either that’s a clone or a long-lost cousin of the dog owned by my neighbor two houses down. Or, rather, of the dog who owns my neighbor two houses down, because clearly that’s the relationship. Two beings live there: the owner, and the human. The owner, who had the human buy the house about six months ago, loudly proclaims his territory to all and sundry when anyone ventures within a hundred feet. Many have been the times when passing by that I or at least one of my children have wished the dog a slow, painful fate. But then other times it’s the human I (more properly) blame, because she’s encouraging this constant ear-splitting yapping behavior. She gently strokes the dog and says, “It’s all right, it’s all right,” adding names that sound to me like “pookum” and “snookum” but which I, thinking about the dog, re-imagine as “punch him” and “shoot him.” See, it actually isn’t all right; the dog is turning me against a neighbor.
Or, I could blame my neighbors on the other side of us, who actually sold the house to this person. Problem is, I like these neighbors. A lot. They were one of the reasons we built an addition to the house rather than move; we liked the neighbors and the neighborhood. I did say to Brad one day, though, “Oh, that dog!” And he responded mildly, of course, “That’s her child.” Sure. But children who behave like that get disciplined. Or sent away. (Or wind up president.)
So when you watch the video above and come across the neighbor of the yapping dog who says, “I’d like to kill it,” imagine that’s me. Because I’d like to kill it. If not with my bare hands, then at least release it into the mountains so the coyotes could eat it.