Here are 20 jokes that only intellectuals will understand.

Many of these hinge on the relative literalness of language. Every time when I’m asked to RSVP for a particular board meeting, the request is phrased this way: “Please let me know if you will or won’t be coming.” At first, I was replying, “Yes, I will or won’t be coming.” (That answer is literally true, and is occasioned by the formulation of the question. The better way to phrase the question is, “Please let me know whether or not you’re coming.”) Then after a few instances of that, I realized it wasn’t funny, that I was just being a jerk. Whether or not they understand these 20 jokes, I don’t think the distinction between being funny and being a jerk is something most intellectuals will get.

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