Lee Wochner: Writer. Director. Writing instructor. Thinker about things.


Dearly departed

Every time Facebook prompts me to wish Happy Birthday to a friend who’s dead, I rush over to their Facebook page to confirm that, yep, they’re still dead.

Nevertheless, it’s a friendly reminder every year of how much the dead friend meant to me.

I just wish I weren’t piling up so many of them in recent years.

3 Responses to “Dearly departed”

  1. Dan Says:

    It’s tempting to shovel useless comments of callousness or comfort at you from the perspective of my advanced years:
    Get used to it
    Better you should go to their funeral than have them go to….
    Remember, they’ve gone to a better place

    But in the spirit of constructive commentary, I’m trying to come up with a recommendation, an attitude, and action, that will actually help you deal with the inevitable loss of the good people in your life.

    So I give you this: Start thinking about the Bad People in your life: the smart-ass critic, the smug bureaucrat, maybe an actor or director who ruined your work with “improvements:…..
    Go back a bit further. The mechanic or contractor who ripped you off. The salesman who promised gold and delivered garbage.
    You get the idea, so run with it. Schoolyard bullies, traffic cops, benighted teachers, mean girls, politicians…

    Now start checking the obits. Perhaps you can find one of these (insert epithet) listed and attend the funeral in a leisure suit. Or sing “Harper Valley PTA” at the wake. Or maybe just dance on their graves.

    What I’m saying is that Death doesn’t come just to those who enriched our lives; it comes to those who impoverished it as well. No man is an island, but many men shoulda been. Therefore should you harken when the bell tolls. Step to the music and swing your partner.

  2. Lee Wochner Says:

    I love this. Thanks.

    Yes, I realize I sound a little precious about this death thing lately – but my ex was right, I’ve been shielded. And I’ve always had family – my whole life! – but I didn’t always have friends, growing up in a friend desert, so losing friends feels harder.

    Focusing on my enemies? That’s an interesting strategy… except I don’t waste psychic energy on them. Eventually the odds catch up with them anyway.

  3. Dan Says:

    Lee, you don’t expend any psychic energy on your enemies? Why deny yourself the fun of raking over past hurts and brooding on future retributions?

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