Rapturous plans
As I’m sure you’ve heard, the Rapture is coming tomorrow (or, depending upon where you live, it’s starting tonight). I’m already making plans.
First, I’m going to take a friend’s suggestion that we scatter unwanted clothes and shoes arranged in “lifted up” fashion on sidewalks and lawns around town. I urge you to join me in this. With more advance notice, I might have staged this into a worldwide art project. There’s no time for that now, but there’s still time for each of us to participate in our own small way.
Secondly, I’d like to indulge in a little Rapture looting. I missed my opportunity during the LA riots, but not this time. I’d like to outfit a home music studio, and I’m also looking for fishing, boating, and camping equipment. I’d especially like a small powerboat with a trailer and a pickup truck. If you know the addresses of people with these things who are likely to be lifted up during the Rapture, please email them to me privately; I will consider paying small finder’s fees. Within a 25-mile radius of Burbank, CA is preferred, but I’m willing to travel up to 100 miles if the left-behind equipment is in tip-top condition. Thank you.
May 23rd, 2011 at 9:58 pm
My father and brother are both ministers and we’ve seen this before. These blind followers of some “enlightened” man are always wrong and they never learn. I can recall a group of neighborhood toughs coming to the church to get saved on a Friday, because they heard the world was ending Saturday. By Monday, they realized the world didn’t end and they returned to their ordinary ways of making younger kids like me miserable. Seems to happen on a national basis every 20 years or so, locally somewhere in the States more frequently. Would make a nice thesis, or perhaps a play. Just in case your idea well is completely dry!
May 23rd, 2011 at 10:03 pm
It’s not just fake Raptures. Remember the “killer bees”? They were going to be here ANY MINUTE and terrorize the nation! This was in the 1970s. They’re still not here. That experience gave me a nice healthy skepticism about doomsday scenarios. (Helpful for living in LA.)