These were really really bad.

• Poseidon. Who knew that the original was an art film? It’s not just improbable — which we expect — it’s unenjoyable.
• Lady in the Water. Somehow or other, even the billboard made it look bad. Just not as bad as it turned out to be. For some reason the alien mermaid chick sits in the shower for long stretches while a wacky cast of characters talks to her from outside the bathroom. Is it over yet?

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