My friend Dan Stumpf is otherwise known as the author Daniel Boyd — which raises the question of “Why have a nom de plume if you’re going to tell everyone about it? I’m sad to see that he’s discovered what some of us already knew about online tech companies: No, there is no way to get help from anyone there.

These companies are predicated on YOU doing everything for them; how can you afford a megayacht if you’re actually paying people to answer inquiries and complaints? Just try getting a human on the phone, or any customer service.

Well, Dan did. It didn’t go well.

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