Yes, dear friends and family and readers of this blog who have emailed to ask if I’m aware that the 405 freeway will be closed for at least two days this month, I am aware. At this point, if there are any Japanese soldiers left anywhere hiding in wait because they haven’t heard that World War II has ended, I’m nevertheless confident that they’ve heard that the 405 will be closed. Here is my plan for what is widely being billed as “Carmageddon,” a traffic jam so epic that it will likely dwarf even the time I saw Children of Men: Don’t go near it. I’ll just stay in Burbank and surrounding environs, a safe distance from the blast site, for both days. And if the freeway project takes longer? Then I’ll stay away for longer. This, by the way, is not an especially clever plan:  Someone I know who lives directly adjacent to the 405 told me that her plan is just not to go outside for two days (or longer).

Who will this create monumental problems for? Delivery people (and you can forget getting a delivery if you’re anywhere in the impacted area, no matter what Fedex or UPS or anyone else promises). People with no choice but to drive that north-south corridor. Anyone interested in going to the Getty Center. And, of course, anyone who needs to get into or out of LAX.

Which brings me to this:  I’ve noted before (here and here) my fascination with the many variations of the famed “Hitler” clip from Downfall, in which enterprising people have changed the subtitles to our villain’s deranged attack on his own generals. Here’s the latest one, the subject of which, of course, is Carmageddon. It’s one of the better ones. It’s also one I can relate to.

This entry was posted on Friday, July 8th, 2011 at 9:31 pm and is filed under Thoughts. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.