On Sunday the Great Plains Theatre Conference wrapped up with a gala honoring Pulitzer prize-winning playwright David Lindsay-Abaire, as well as Dr. Joanne McDowell, the former president of Omaha’s Metropolitan Community College, who created the conference five years ago. This was her 30th year of producing important playwright-oriented theatre conferences, so the recognition was deserved. Also in attendance were the business luminaries of Omaha, the board and administration of the college, plenty of theatre people, and me. This is a dress-up affair, where people come in evening wear and sample the incredible cuisine courtesy of the resident culinary academy.

On the way in, the conference photographer was taking portrait shots  of workshop leaders, panelists, and special guests. While I’m waiting, I’m approached by one of the playwrights, a middle-aged man I’ve gotten to know just a little bit at this conference the past three years. While we’re talking, he asks if I’d like to have a copy of his book. I said I would, and he goes out to his car to get one. He brings it in and inscribes it to me and hands it over and then I saw the title:  “Woman’s Orgasm:  A Guide to Sexual Satisfaction.” Then I remember hearing that he’s a doctor with a practice in sexology. I take the book and walk in.

As I circulate the room, chatting with people, drinking drinks, tasting canapes, I start to realize that people are noticing that I’m carrying around a book entitled “Woman’s Orgasm.” When I sit at my table  near the dais and within arms’ reach of the main luminaries and funders, I place the book onto the table. It’s got to go somewhere while I eat. So there, in the center of the table, is the book. A few people ask if they can look at it. They crack it open, read the inscription, then look at me and put it back. Finally I open the book and read it and here’s what it says in my personalized copy of “Woman’s Orgasm:  A Guide to Sexual Satisfaction”:  “Lee, Thank you for all your support. Ben.”  Whereupon I start to take credit for all the research findings reported in the book.

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