Workout buddy or stalker?
The man to the left is actor William Fichtner, or, as I refer to him at home, “Bill.”
Bill is a celebrity actor. He’s on Prison Break (which I haven’t seen, and which, I’m given to understand, also features a sinister character called “Tea Bag,” for reasons best left unmentioned). Previously he was on a creepy small-town alien invasion show called, I believe, Invasion, which I also haven’t seen. In fact, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Bill on anything except, if memory serves, a two-part X-Files in the 1990’s, but he is much-discussed at my house because of the shows my son watches and because, as you’ll see, of our special relationship.
Where I have seen Bill, and a lot, is at the gym. I see him there a lot because I’m there a lot, and also because I’ve grown convinced that he’s stalking me. When I’m there in the morning (as just this morning), it’s only a matter of minutes before he arrives and starts lifting or using the cross-trainer right next to me. It doesn’t seem to matter whether it’s Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday. I don’t know if he comes looking for me on Sunday, because I don’t go to the gym on Sunday. I do know that when I sometimes go on Saturday afternoon after my playwriting workshop, he’s there. In fact, when I go on other afternoons rather than mornings, he seems to arrive shortly after me and then pretend to casually scan the various dumbbells (hand weights, not people) near me before “selecting” one or two.
In fact, the only place at the gym that I haven’t seen Bill is in the steam room while I’m in there. I guess he’s too modest.
One time Bill broached a conversation with me. He asked if he could turn the ceiling fan near us up or down or off, I can’t remember, and I obliged. His tentativeness in conversation with me was touching and sad. It’s hard for me to condemn Bill for his interest. In some way it’s flattering.
By the way, there is also a man named Jeff whom I take to be gay (I’m not always good at discerning these things) who strikes up a conversation with me every morning. But I don’t think Jeff is interested in me; rather, he seems more interested in discussing his daily work commute from Burbank to West Los Angeles, a troubling subject I sympathize with.
My wife tells me that she saw Bill at a children’s party one weekend a few months ago. His cover story was that evidently one of our children plays with Bill’s child, but I can imagine Bill’s disappointment in two things: 1) not seeing me there (I take our kids when these events are on Sunday, and I can only hope that Bill isn’t reading this), and 2) my wife’s comment, after looking at Bill for several minutes and blinking and wondering aloud where she knew him from before finally venturing, “Do I know you from Burbank PTA?” (No, because I don’t attend PTA meetings., and therefore neither does Bill. You see the pattern.)
I’m not sure what to do about this relationship. I don’t want to encourage Bill, but I don’t want to have to find another gym. I’ve been a member of this one for more than 15 years. I was there first. The management of the gym has been completely ineffectual at even replacing a shower door handle despite my repeated requests, so I’m sure they’re similarly powerless to do anything about larger issues.
Beyond just hoping that Bill starts to book movie roles that require his presence overseas, I’m unsure what to do. I am, however, open to suggestions. Thank you.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:02 pm
Have you considered the possibility that YOU are stalking BILL, although unconciously? Re-read your ‘concerned’ entry and then, please, be honest with yourself.
May 22nd, 2007 at 5:51 pm
You’ve completely missed the point. (And I realize this is hard to understand until you yourself have felt that you have a stalker.) For one thing, I’m not trying to get on TV in the hopes that Bill will see me — but that’s precisely what he seems to be doing. (And if he ever winds up on either “Lost” or “The Wire,” he’ll get what he wants.) For another, I’m not moving next to him to work out — he’s doing that to me. And the sad thing is, I can’t even bring myself to blame him. His obsession is just unfortunate.
May 23rd, 2007 at 8:01 am
I’m with Rich on this one…you could be stalking HIM. And just how long did you have to search for the photo of Bill that best represents that ‘stalking’ demeanor? I am willing to bet it took over 45 seconds, a long search indeed. But he’s holding a weapon…whereas, at the gym I doubt he’s armed THAT way. But the expression is very telling, he does seem a hair trigger away from being alarmed even at rest. I’d have to say that you’re correct in making avoidance of this man.
As to the nickname some TV character has gone and gotten himself on some show, I’m always stunned as to how very distantly removed references make it into common parlance – given enough time. Troubling though, what lies in the future…the mind reels. But I’ll avoid digression.
But back to Bill, how come men only chase guys that are most unlikely to be receptive to an approach? There’s just no way to piece that apart. Tell Bill I said hi, and that he’s hot. Superficial, aman’t I?
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:13 am
Actually, that picture of Bill is the very first image that comes up in a Google search. What does that say? Perhaps in the past others have had the same problem with him that I’m now facing.
With regard to his “hotness,” I’m in no position to judge, despite his persistent proximity to me.
May 23rd, 2007 at 10:52 am
Lee, as Bill Fichtner is one of the best character actors in entertainment, I’d be more than flattered if he “stalked” me. And believe me, he is NOT modest, if you’ve seen him in a film called “GO”. And he’s never been in The X-Files. I wouldn’t be concerned. If you were to have a conversation with him at any length, you’d find him funny, charming, and very dedicated to his family, friends, and his work. Mention my name and you won’t see him again, 🙂 or wait a few weeks when he will be filming Prison Break in TX again and only home (in CA) on weekends.
May 23rd, 2007 at 5:49 pm
Lee,
I was at my son’s martial arts class today and they were doing a unit on “Setting Verbal and Spatial Boundaries.” So I decided to ask the instructors about your situation.
They said they felt it was important for you to address this situation. This guy may either (1) be “interviewing” you, ie testing boundaries to see how far he can go. If you do not respond, he may escalate his behavior. Or at the very least just continue it. Or (2) he is doing this unconsciously. In either case, you must address it for the behavior to stop.
They suggest that you speak to him in a polite, but direct way. They said it was important to have eye contact. Also, confident body language – ie stand your ground, face him squarely. Then say something to the effect, “I’m uncomfortable with you exercising this close to me. Would you please back away?” Some other words suggested were, “Would you mind moving away/backing away…” They said you could also interject a bit of humor, ie “I must be claustrophobic but…”
The important thing, they said, was to convey the message that ‘I know you’re here and you’re not going any further.’
Hope this helps.
Isabel
May 23rd, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Hm. I am approaching the point where I’m wondering, “Is the humor behind this as apparent as I thought it was?”
Or are good friends and commentators putting me on in response?
This is becoming very postmodern.
May 24th, 2007 at 10:21 am
OK, I get it now. This must be a guy thing. Have fun stalking each other, guys. I’m going for a manicure…
May 24th, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Finally, the ice breaks. Thanks, Isabel!
May 24th, 2007 at 9:54 pm
Are you all for real????
May 27th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
Lee
I cannot tell a lie.
I’ve been impersonating Bill in an effort to get close to you.
You cannot believe how tough it is to work out in a body suit and latex mask.
The problem is, without you in my life I cannot be fulfilled.
At least that’s what my therapist says.
Oh… this is a joke?
Forget what I typed. Let’s just be friends.